While people watching at the beach this weekend, (yes, I people watch quite a bit) I couldn’t help but notice the overwhelming number of women who were “with” these gorgeous, gay men; I mean “with-with.” I know that this topic seems antiquated, but with the spread of all the “metro-sexualism” being exhibited by men, it seems that women are apparently becoming conditioned to over look and possibly miss the mark. Suddenly men are regularly partaking of beauty regimens that once were deemed as “womanly.” Nowadays it’s acceptable for a man to have his brows arched or his nails shiny without it raising any concern. I am all for men taking better care of themselves, (manicures, pedicures, massages.) But how far will it go before a woman dating one of these “girly-men” realizes she’s dating a “gay man?” Short of these men wearing a tutu and bikini, what else do they have to do to show these women who they really are.

I have seen countless women who are dating and even married to men who are clearly not heterosexual or monogamous. For instance, let’s take author Terri McMillan and Dina Matos-McGreevey, former wife of now former governor of New Jersey. Both of these women were totally in the dark about the possibilities of these men being anything other than heterosexual. Really??? Because when I observe their mannerisms, I can taste the splenda,  I am always in disbelief whenever I see or hear this. But then again, with all of the smoke and mirrors surrounding this new era of “girly-men”, I wonder if these women are capable of recognizing the signs that are painfully obvious to the rest of us. The men who engage in this deceitful act typically do not consider themselves to be gay, they deny any such connotations since they are in relationships with women.

I have no problem with anyone’s sexual preference or what they choose to do with “their lives.” The problem that I do have is when someone else makes a choice for an unsuspecting individual – when a woman is not given the opportunity to choose who she is having sex with and the level of risks she will take, then that’s a problem!

According to the National HIV Prevention statistics,  HIV and AIDS infections are rising among minorities, women, and people who contract the virus via heterosexual contact. Most women are oblivious to the fact that their man is on the down low. Statistics show that a man who is on the down low occasionally engages in unprotected sex. This careless act poses a serious, life altering health threat to their “unsuspecting” female partners and increases their risk for HIV/AIDS transmissions.

Sometimes even those of us with the keenest of “gaydar” can miss the many subtle signs staring us directly in the eye. If you have any inkling or suspicions that your man is cheating, if he is even a tiny bit feminine it’s worthy of looking into. If you really want to know what your man is up to, or catch him in the act, you will need to be proactive before you have to be reactive and some spy ware is a good place to start.